“Brother John,
what should I do? All my life I have received Kija Puja (‘brother offering’) from
my sisters on this special day. If I stop now I will offend my sisters and may
even be ostracized by my whole family.” Raj had come to John for advice and was
in quite an agitated state. Today was Kija Puja, one of the great feast days of
the year for the people of Nepal. It was the high point of the festival of Swanti
(called Tihar or Diwali among other communities of South Asia). On previous
days, successive animals and deities had been worshipped in the homes and
courtyards across the Valley: the crow, the dog, the cow, and then one’s own
self. Now it was the day for sisters to give an offering to their brothers.
Involvement in the rituals of the previous days was to some extent optional,
but on this day everyone was expected to be involved.
In common with
many communities across South Asia, all married Newar daughters visit the home they
grew up in, and where their parents and brothers still live, for this important
ritual. Three mandala designs are
drawn on the floor in a prepared space in the room, symbolic of the gods Ganesh
(the elephant headed god of good luck), Janmaraj (the god of birth), and
Yamaraj (the god of death) and a short puja (ritual offering) is given
to the deities. The brothers sit on mats along the wall of the room and the
sisters draw another mandala in front of each of them, symbolic of the
brother himself. The sisters then offer the brothers flowers and fruits as well
as bright red vermilion paste (sinha)
applied to the forehead as a way of bringing the blessing of the gods to them. The
ritual is an elaborate plea to the god Yamaraja to prolong the lives of their
brothers. The brothers then give gifts to their sisters in return, usually in
the form of new saris and money. When the ritual is complete the whole family sits down and enjoys a
feast. The festival is overwhelmingly a family event. In the days that follow Kija
Puja the family calls its married-out daughters and nieces and their children
to another more elaborate feast.
Raj and his wife
Sharmila had been meeting with John for nearly two years and a few months earlier
had declared that they were now devotees of Jesus. John had been careful to
introduce them to Jesus in the Bible without imposing on them foreign
expectations of what discipleship to Christ might look like. As much as
possible he wanted Raj and Sharmila to remain in their community so that they
would be able to witness to Christ among them.
John was puzzled,
however, by this apparent conundrum: to what extent may believers in Christ, living
within their community participate in the festivals? Involvement in a festival
can take place in different ways. Often a person will participate in the
rituals in a merely perfunctory way because he is not religiously minded.
Others, however, may take the ritual more seriously. Whatever their motivations
and attitudes the important thing was to do
the rituals.
John knew that other
Christ-followers in the Valley separated themselves from their family during
festival times so as not to compromise their new faith. The men never returned
to their parents’ home during Kija Puja to honour their sisters. To the sisters
it felt as if they did not have a brother anymore, and it caused much grief to
the family. Consequently, apart from the many church members who had migrated
into the Valley from the countryside, the churches were made up of individual local
believers who had broken their family ties.
“Raj, you know
the first commandment, not to have any other gods before the Lord,” said John.
“Yes, Johnji,” replied Raj (using the suffix ‘ji’ to show honour to his
teacher), “but I also want to obey the fifth commandment, to honour my father
and mother. Surely I would dishonour my parents and my sisters if I do not
participate in the festival!” As they discussed Raj’s options they went over
the various rituals that were involved. The puja
ritual was not required of the brother but of the sister so he would not have
to worship idols, but if he accepted the offering from his sisters was he not
condoning their false worship and
thereby leading them further into sin? John also knew that other followers of
Christ would doubt Raj’s credentials as a disciple if he went along. He might
even be disciplined by his church. But the church was made up largely of
outsiders who had migrated to the Valley and had no idea about the local festivals
and the sort of struggles that believers like Raj went through. Was there
anything actually wrong in just participating fully in the whole ritual? It was
the heart that was important wasn’t it?
“What if I departed
from tradition,” asked Raj, “and rather than receive sinha that had
first been offered to the deities, request that a separate sinha paste
be made and offered to me as a token of love rather than as an offering of
worship? After all, people offer sinha
to others on many special occasions, not just at times of worship.” “But wouldn’t your sisters just think you’ve
taken leave of your senses?” replied John. “The Bible says that we must keep
ourselves from idols,” he added, quoting from 1 John 5:21. “I won’t be
worshipping idols, Johnji,” responded Raj. Then John had another thought. “What
about the risk of being afflicted by demons, brother,” he said. “Paul tells us
that ‘the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons,’” he added, quoting 1
Corinthians 10:20. “Yes, but he also said that ‘an idol is nothing’” (1 Cor
8:4), Raj replied. “Oh, what should I do, Johnji? It is giving me such a
headache.”
John thought very
carefully, and then gave his suggestion...
